Tag: exploration

[January Jumpstart 2023] – January recap + Updates

[January Jumpstart 2023] – January recap + Updates

I wanted to use January Jumpstart to kickstart my blog off well in 2023, allow me to write more and generally get back into the swing of things for blogging.
I also wanted to use some of these posts to share my goals for the year, have a written account of things and allow me like with the blog kickstart my personal off well.

In this post I want to look back at January, look at the posts on my blog and dive into my personal life.
See what I’ve managed to do or not do in the first month of the year and what it may mean going forward.

First of I counted 14 posts on my blog so out of the 31 days in January, I’ve posted for just under half of that which is great. I wanted to get back to blogging, I wanted to do more written content and so in that regard I definitely did it.

I posted about a variety of topics, from my goals for the year to sharing one of the darkest times in my life.
There was the relisation that it was or will be a decade since I first got into sex toys with this post and honestly I can’t believe it’s been so long.

One of my posts was on the subject of touch, how I love touch and how I hoped to get more touch in 2023. I even said “Iā€™m not sure how this will work out but I can only hope it happens.”
Well thankfully and quite suprisingly I am making that happen, tomrrow as of when I write this (30/01) I have booked an body to body massage and naturally I’ll satisy my craving for touch for the first in forever.

I wrote a post on my goals and a sort of follow up post on wanting to make all these goals happen rather than putting them off.
As above, I made progress on the latter post by booking the massage though it took requesting several different people before I got one that actually responded to me.

On the topic of goals I had my remianing holiday time from worked taken and managed to book a trip away wth my mum, we had a family holiday last year but as there wasn’t going to be one this year I promised I’d take her away just the two of us since we haven’t been away together much and I know i could take her where she wanted to go (London).

So as you can see, by the tail end of January I have managed to do a lot.
I’ve been regularly blogging and I have managed to work on some of my goals and make happen some the things I wanted from this year.

Going forward I’m hoping to use January as the basis for doing more blogging, to continue participating in memes and sharing various thoughts and feelings plus hopefully many more new images.
I’m also hoping I can use January and the confidence I’ve gained to do more personal stuff and to do more things that also might end up on the blog.

I can’t go into details on everythiong because I just don’t know but for now it’s been a great start to my year and long may it continue.

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Changing relationship views

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Changing relationship views

The Revelations prompt is dates and dating and with this I want to explore how I currently see myself in regards to this.
The things I am leearning and who I feel like I am becoming in the world of dating.

I’ve never been one to date much, I’ve had a grand total of maybe 2 relationships in my life.
The first was a teenage relationship where I became friends with a girl who I eventually fell for and we dated for about 7 months before I ended it.

The 2nd was someone I became friends with online and we sort of had something that I call dating/relationship. I don’t know how long it was thing but after a while we sort of just drifted apart and things ended.
We are still friends even if we don’t talk all that often, and I still have a love and appreciation for her in life.

From these 2 relationships and through life in general monogamous was who I was. I liked the idea of dating the one person and one person only, putting my time and effort into them and enjoying the relationship we have. I’ve always fallen for someone hard so being with them was all I wabted
Over the years though, particularly more recently, I’ve begun to see a lot more outside of monogamy and it has started to change how I think about dating and relationships.

Whether it’s people at work, people online or just people I see on my commute a lot, I’m finding so many beautiful people out there. Not just beautiful in the physical sense but in how nice they can be around me and others, how they spread joy to me and how they can make me smile.

Through these people I’m seeing so many different dynamics to each one, and while not all are people I want to date for many reasons, I am finding the act of having “The One” to be less important to me.
Yes I still would gladly fall in love with someone who I spend the rest of my life with, but I’ve opened my eyes to that not being the case, to not only having one partner but more than that, or having my partner have their own partner.

I love to love, and I love to see other people love, I love to see other people happy as much as I love being happy myself.
This could be in a relationship where we have a mutal understand that we both have other partners for different reasons. I understand it may be that I can only provide so much to someone and so they have another someone for what I can’t give, it might be that I love what they can give me but I have someone else who offers what they can’t.

I am still new to non-monogamy, still to learn a lot about it and yet to be in a relationship that is non-monogamous.
But from this I am beginning to realise that no everyone is monogamous, that may not fit them and so they seek alternative dating options, the fact that monogamy is not the standard of relationship that we should all be doing.
On the other hand not everyone wants to be non-monogamous, they may want to have a singular partner and that’s totally fine, it’s whatever works for them at the end of the day and makes them happy.

So when it comes to dating I can’t say i’m 100% monogamous nor that I’m non-monogamous but I’ll take each dating sceanrio as it comes and do what’s best for two people together.
Maybe in several years I’ll be able to say for certain where I fit in, or maybe like at this moment in time I will be open to both monogamy and non-monogamy.

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Body Count, I hate it but I don’t either

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Body Count, I hate it but I don’t either

The term body count is not something I’ve ever used no mater how many dating apps/sites I’ve been on, or how many times I’ve planned potential hookups.
For me it’s not important how many sexual partners others have had, if we’re getting together for sex, a date or even for a relationship I’m only focused on the here and now, whatever is happening between us and not what has gone on before me.

The idea that body count means something and might even affect things between two people is to me a strange idea. If you’ve slept with 1 or 100 people I don’t want to know, it doesn’t affect me and doesn’t change what would happen between us ince it’s going to be different to whoever you may have slepty with before.

In terms of my own body count, I rarely get asked that question and for the most part it’s never asked as “What’s your body count?”.
The way in which I feel like body count might benefit me is in explaining this to people be it hookups or whoever.
I’m not one to have had much sex in whatever way you care to define what constitutes sex, and so for me my own personal use the term body count is one I use to convey my lack of experience.
Sure I wish I had more sex now and in the past but the fact that my number is very low doesn’t matter as much and I’m definitely no one to say woe is me for his lack of sex.

What does matter is that whoever I’m with understands my lack of experience, understands they can’t expect things to go a certain way and understands that I want to do the best I can and we ensure us both getting as much pleasure out of the situation as possible.

At the end of the day body count in relation the to the amount of previous sexual partners doesn’t matter to me, I will never ask the querstion or mention the topic, yes I may bring up related things but more in a way that’s driving communication and understanding what we both might want to get out of the situation at hand. Be it my limited experiences with sex or the fact you might be more experienced in certain aspects I want to explore, these might come from body count but don’t refer to a number or the phrase itself.

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Dear Diary… Open Honest and Raw

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Dear Diary… Open Honest and Raw

Dear Diary…. Please for the love of God make this year my year.

I’ve talked about the year ahead and all my plans and goals but in 2023 I want to achieve as many of these as possible, I want to make this my best year ever.

I always have plans and ideas for what I want in the new year but for many reasons I never ever make these ideas a reality. I always put things off and then by the time I revisit them its usually at a time when I can’t do anything.

It’s a mental block that I must overcome, I showed myself in 2021 that I can do things but I also shower myself that I can fuck it up.

Not only is it a mental block but its more than that. Firstly a lack of confidence in myself, not in actually doing things as I know I can but just being confident in making ideas a reality which I can then plan out and achieve. Once I have ideas out there and I have no reasons that I can’t do them it’s getting easier for me to plan.

Secondly it’s not knowing how to go about doing certain things, where do I look and what do I do? What do I do without coming across as awkward and even how do I not fuck things up.

For example I’m booking a trip away with my mum with multiple trains, a couple of hotels and at least 2 cities visited over 5 days. In the past this wouldn’t have been something I’d have done, but having got through one of my mental barriers it’s been a little easier to do and this is the sort of thing I want for all aspects of life.

No I’m not perfect and I will fuck things up, I’ll have many grand ideas that never happen and there will be things that only I can try to make reality but will not get the confidence to do and that’s on me.

But please can I just make this year my best ever, one filled with joyous memories and good times. A year filled with love and a bigger confidence that I can do things, that I’m comfortable with more and more.

I no longer want to put things off, I not longer want to feel bad when I do and know that it’s all because of I rather than anyone else.

Not everything is possible in the year but for what is let’s have a great 2023

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Exploration goals

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Exploration goals

Exploration is a big part of of my blog and in 2023 is something I want to have more of, exploring not just for my own benefit and my own fun but to end up as part of my blog.

January Jumpstart is helping me have a good start to the year on my blog, in which I can build upon it for the months to come, I also want to use it as way to help me start my year with some exploration through what I write, what others write and generally being around bloggers/NSFW social media who can inspire me to do exploration.

Of course I want to explore more outdoors and the images I can take since I did a lot in 21 but few in 22.
It’s also just fun to be outdoors, as getting naked and taking images just makes it even better with getting to share some of these images to my blog for all to see and appreciate.

I wrote about touch in my last post and one of the first things I am maybe planning is touch related in a massage, something more than just a reguar massage though. Not only will I get a nice relaxing massage to help me de-stress but I’ll get the added fun of touch and depending on what I book it might also incluced fun extras where I can be mutually naked with someone and maybe even have thge excitement of being able to touch too.

One major exploration goal is also kink related, I would love to be able to explore more kink and not just on my own. I have no idea how this will work out if at all but in wiriting it down here I hope I can come back to the goal as the year progresses an,d maybe I can seek out advice from others who have maybe explored kink in the way I may do.

Another goal of mine is in travelling more and doing some personal exploration which may or may not be part of the blog.
Further on in the year I am looking to take some holiday time and hopefully travel somewhere new, and assuming I can get the confidence to apply for a passport and have the money I may want to travek abroad, explore a totally new country, city and culture to one I am used to.
I’m big on adventure too so any travel may include doing something adventurous like theme/amusement parks and riding roller coasters, no I’m not a coaster nerd as such, but I do love the adrenaline you get from going on them and I do like to know somewhat about the different parks out there abd what coasters they have.

I’d also love to explore the world of dating and seeing where that goes, I often miss having someone and I feel like now is a good time to get back into the dating scene and seeing whos out there.
Hoping my confidence in myself, beyond sharing stuff on this blog/social media, can get to a level where I’m comfortable enough in putting myself out there but then if I don’t try I’ll get nowhere.

So in 2023 there is lots of exploration I’d love to do, not all of it will be a reality as I know you can’t always do everything in life you want, but having these all as goals means I can do as much as possible.

Further kink explorations and a belated blog anniversary.

Further kink explorations and a belated blog anniversary.

I was reminded of the fact that my blog is now just over 2 years old and it’s something I’m extremely proud about.
When I started the blog I had no real idea what I was doing, my intention was to explore myself whether that was sharing past explorations, diving deep into new things in the present and whatever I may have in the future.

The adult in the title was twofold. Firstly because I am an adult and can look at things from the past with a slightly more mature mind where I understand things better, but also because my content would be of a more NSFW adult nature.

To think I’ve lasted two years, that I’m still blogging to some degree and to see how it has helped me in some ways is an acheievement, considering the account on which my blog is hosted was started 6 years ago meaning it took me 4 years to finally get the courage to start a blog

One area which I’ve explored a lot more since starting the blog has been kinks and related topics.
This has been brought about through reading other bloggers stuff, seeing a lot more through new people I follow on Twitter and through blog memes like Kink Of The Week where I’ve as I say above “dived deep” and made written posts detailing my throughts.

Some of my thoughts and feelings on kink and related topics haven’t made it into posts on my blog but all these along with any that lI did write about led me to jump at the chance I had to possibly review a number of BDSM type items of my choosing.
I ended up with a flogger, paddle, ball gag, restraints and a nipple clamp collar for review and some of these would allow me to explore kinks more IRL than just what I had thought about or written about, while other items would allow me to further explore kinks I knew I liked but hadn’t experienced outside oif improvised toys/impliments or the like.

The paddle was one such impliment I was keen to use because I was aware of being interested in some levels of pain and the bruising I had particularly from the last Tattoo I had done. I ended up feeling good with the on and off pain while loving some nice bruising I noticed afterwards in a pic my artist took immediately once he was done inking me.

The restraints where an item I had loved in my thoughts but didn’t know if i’d be excited IRL with the idea of being restarined so having them to use on myself before I let anyone else restrain me. It was the perfect way to explore and get a feel for things and it turns out I loved not only the restraints I got but the feeling of being restrained IRL has been hot the multiple times I added it in to a play session.

I won’t go into details on all the things, but it’s safe to say I am finding out just what I love 100%, what I love in the right situations and what I may not like.

I’m way more confident and comfortable in myself that the next step in this exploration is to hopefully add someone or many people in the mix, start to look at ways I can play with others and not just play solo.
Things like my flogger are not something I can really use on myself to any great degree so I’d love to have someone else give me a flogging and also experience from my sub side. Consensually giving someone control over how they proceed going from a slow start and building up once I’m know what I like and how far they can take things.

It may not happen right away and I don’t expect it too but for now it’s something to work towards and honestly I’m just excited that I’ve made it to 2 years of blogging and that It’s led to wanting to explore more IRL so happy anniversay to me and here’s to hopefully many more years of blogging.