[Revelations] – Attractions of hair

Have you ever found yourself inexplicably drawn to someone’s hair? It’s something I find myself doing in life, being drawn to someone’s hair for a multitude of reasons.
While I have talked about being attracted to someone for their personality more than their physical appearance in this blog post I do still have a large attraction to physical aspects, especially hair.

I will point out that I can’t list every single attraction I have with hair and hairstyles, so what I talk about are not the only things I’m attracted to but likely the ones I have a bigger attraction to.
Also, while not all styles are to my liking that’s just personal preference and no matter how you have your hair it’s still awesome.

Firstly when it comes to hair I love long hair, if it goes past shoulder length then even better. I can’t say why this is but I just love it. Plaits/Braids/Pigtails and other similar forms of styling longer hair do it for me too, and I love how people can take their hair and end up with plaits and just the look of it is really attractive to me.

Hair colour is another way I love people having their hair, I guess this is partly down to how I always wanted to dye my hair for years and the reasons behind it. I find myself attracted to colours like purple and in general coloured hair can be a form of individuality maybe as part of a wider style someone associates with or just because they want to be unique.

I have in recent years I’ve grown my hair long and dyed it red once and then purple to firstly be unique, to fit in with my preference for an alternative style and in response to the fact that I have in the past been questioned and talked down to for having long hair and that somehow I NEED to get it cut especially when said person is no more than an acquaintance.

I also have a huge love for natural redheads, they have a very unique natural colour that is relatively rare and they can have attractive personality traits that go along with their hair colour that I love. I am a lover of anyone and everyone but definitely would put redheads at the top if I had to.

Outside of hairstyles and colours, I also love the various scents you get from freshly washed hair.
As someone who commutes a lot, there are many times someone will sit in the seat in front of me and I’m immediately drawn to how their hair smells even when I’m focused on say looking out the window of the bus or eyes fixated on something on my phone. It may take a minute to hit me but when It does I can’t help but smile.
Even when I wash my own hair and a lot more after freshly dying it I love the scent, it makes me happy to have it freshly washed and know that some people may get to smell the scent of it and they may enjoy it without me knowing.

I love all kinds of hairstyles, hair colours and scents, knowing that each person can have their own form of identity through how they do their hair. They can be unique and stand out from the crowd or they can be part of a particular group with their own style identity.
In the case of redheads, they can embrace the fact they have a rare natural hair colour and that there can be many celebrations for them throughout the world.

[Revelations] – The seasons of joy

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant
when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

Mary Oliver

The newest prompt for Revelations is Joy based on a poem called Don’t Hesitate by Mary Oliver, and it sparked many thoughts about joy in life, joy in my life and what it means to me.
Very recently though I’ve begun to notice again something that gives me joy, makes me feel happy and reminds me of love in many ways,

We are in spring and recently I’ve taken more notice of the sunshine coming my way. It’s this shift from winter to spring and even more so with the sunshine that has started to bring me joy.
Spring is a time of “rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection and regrowth” along with flowers and trees starting to bloom into life.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve found an appreciation of nature and the beauty it can have, all the flowers starting to bloom and how they give beauty to parks, gardens and everywhere else they may be. The trees are also the same, the beauty in their leaves, the beauty they give to their surroundings.

I find joy in walking to or from work, walking around outside of working and seeing these flowers and trees. Winter is dark and cold and while it has its charm I can’t help but feel like my soul gets rejuvenated by all the beauty I start to see around me in the springtime.

The sunshine particularly on warmer days brightens up my mood, it gets me excited for summer and how for the last few years I’ve enjoyed being out and about in the sun. The joy of walking around town and seeing people go about their daily lives, maybe not wearing so many layers from winter and being able to sit outside more often in parks and such.
I am reminded of the joy I have in summer when I can get out on walks in the wooded areas, and enjoy nature as I wander alone in relative peace and quiet with only the sounds of nature in my ears and occasionally the chatter as other people are nearby.

I am reminded of times in the summer when I had joy, maybe it was many years ago when I had some of the best times ever with friends, maybe it was the joy I had only a couple of years ago with online friends being around as I was out in the sunshine, as I walk around wooded areas and tweeted about it, or just the fact I’m reminded of days I felt on top of the world, in the best moods ever as I went about my day as the sunshine beat down on me.

Don’t hesitate is the poem and I certainly don’t hesitate to embrace the change of season for the better, it fills me with instant love and joy for what’s in the present and what the future may hold.
Of course, I never know what life will be like in spring and come the summer but the seasons never change and so I embrace all they have to give.

[Revelations] – Daring

Dare is the latest topic of revelations and I have been very daring in life in various ways which fit in with this very well.

Way back before my blog I took the chance to do a bungee jump despite my dislike of heights, it was an experience, to say the least. I wasn’t dared to do it but since my brother-in-law was doing it I decided to join him.
Standing on the edge of the platform underneath a bridge with nothing but my legs strapped to the bungee cord as I jumped without hesitation was the start of realising I was definitely adventurous and daring.


Now it wouldn’t be worth writing this blog post about the above experience on its own and in keeping with my blog I’ve had a few daring experiences, not only for the blog but also before I even started it.

First off is something most people know me for, and that’s nudes in the woods and the images I have taken. Now a good few of my shots in the woods aren’t exactly that daring to say the least but during one warm summer’s day I became very daring as I was out in my usual secluded spot.

Instead of shooting with say my trousers pulled down to my ankles and my top pulled up above my head, I got fully naked bar my boots and spent more than 10+ minutes taking multiple shots from various angles, in various poses and using my surroundings to my advantage.
While I was in a secluded area it wasn’t too far from the main path everyone from cyclists, runners, walkers and dog walkers used especially on a warm day and any curious individual could have taken a detour and seen me as I was naked shooting pictures.

Thankfully no one did and I was able to spend my whole time shooting in peace until I had as many photos as I needed where I re-dressed myself and continued on my walk passing people oblivious as to what I had just done.

The second daring experience was when I was still bi-curious and trying to understand who I was. Sitting in the car of someone I knew well enough but not too well as we headed down a small single-track road not too far from my own home.
We stopped at a passing point and he proceeded to play with me in the backseat which anyone could have driven past and seen what we were up to.
Living in what was a smallish village at the time meant there was more of a chance anyone driving past might recognise me, they may not know my name or whereabout I actually lived, but they could be someone I pass in the street often and say hi to even though we don’t know each other.

Being daring can be very hot but also fun.
Doing something adventurous that’s outside your comfort zone can provide a real rush of adrenaline like when I did a bungee jump which despite my dislike of heights was still fun.
I realised afterwards just how much I hated the height factor but just loved the experience of being adventurous, daring and being able to say I did it.


Taking nude photos in the woods particularly when I was fully naked was hotter than I thought.
I’d never been fully naked outside before let alone when I was somewhere that wasn’t a place I should be naked which made it hot. Knowing I could be seen but avoiding it was also hot as well as the fact that the photos I was taking would end up on my blog for others to see.

A first time for everything

The phrase a first time for everything is one that I love, it fits perfectly with who I am and who I want to be. I’m very much adventurous and as per my blog title I love to and want to explore a lot, this is of course only possible when I am comfortable, and I have the confidence to be adventurous and explore, something I don’t always have.

But yesterday (19th of February 2023) I had an afternoon of experiencing a whole lot of firsts for me, getting to have a whole lot of fun and getting to give and receive a whole lot of pleasure.

It all started as I got to the door which had already been opened the recipient having buzzed me in the main door. I walked into a see a stunning lady in nothing but white lingerie, a simple greeting passed out lips as she closed the door behind me.
We got a more detailed greeting and some initial chit-chat as I lay my bag down and took off my coat placing it on a chair. We had a short conversation asking how each other was and I was then ready to undress as was she. 

I loved the lingerie she wore and it was my chance to see her big breasts and her general figure which I loved. I wondered how I would even fit her breast in my mouth, but before I could even finish thinking about that we were both naked and she led me to the bedroom.

As we entered I got the first of my first’s in a short bit of french kissing, sure I had been given pecks on the lips a couple of times before but this was my first time actually kissing a woman and apart from the awkward locking of lips as we started I fully embraced it, enjoying it as a start to proceedings.
If I had any nerves they certainly weren’t on show and this kissing was a good way to ease me into being comfortable with the lady in question.

The kissing started on the lips but soon led to both moving on to the neck as we touched each other for the first time, and while not the first time touching a woman, having had the experience during my massage the other week, it was the first time sexually being able to touch and feel and I slowly worked my hands all over her, from the breasts, nipples and to the ass then to her tummy.

I was then instructed to get comfy on the bed as we kissed again not only on the lips but neck before she decided to play with my cock and then get comfy so she could orally pleasure me.

As she did it was the first time I’d experienced oral with a woman and only my second time ever, having previously had a guy give me oral once when I was exploring my sexuality.

As she pleasured me with her mouth she stopped for a second to explain a limit for her being no cum in her mouth, which I was more than OK with, and we both agreed that I would alert her some way if It was going to happen. As she pleasured me with her mouth, I took the time to feel her ass, play with her nipples, and generally play with her boobs.

It was as mentioned the first time I was able to touch a woman sexually, and I loved letting my hands explore as much of her body as I could in the position she was in. 

Her natural breasts were nice and soft to play with and she had lovely hard nipples that I could rub and just enjoy.

After a little bit, we repositioned ourselves, had a short kiss again, and I sucked her breasts and she had one hand on my cock and the other on my balls. This was another first in being able to suck on nipples and have breasts in my mouth and I took the time to work my tongue over the nipples getting them wet as I went.

It was at this point I decided to let my hands wander down her body and to her clit area where I began to rub it and have my first experience with that, which she seemed to enjoy, as the faster I rubbed the faster she stroked my cock and I could visually see her pleasure on her face as I played.

I then moved on to a combination of fingering and clit rubbing and she sucked my cock.

The feeling of my fingers in her was new to me which I loved, and she seemed to really enjoy what I was doing as she started to let out audible noises of pleasure the more I continued playing.

It was even more fun when I got to taste her after fingering as I shove my fingers into my mouth to taste and then go back into her.
I can’t describe her taste, it wasn’t sweet but it was really nice, and after the first try I didn’t think twice about tasting her multiple times.

We stopped a few times to just kiss and to adjust our position so we were both comfortable and after one more round of oral on me and with me being hard she suggested I condom up so she could sit on me for even more pleasure.

Again it was a first for me in doing PIV and as she started I loved laying back as she went up and down on me while I played with her breasts and nipples. After a short time, I suggested going on top to give her time to relax which she was more than happy to do.

This was when one of two little pieces of note came up, as she lay down and I got on top I started to put my cock in her and thrust but no matter what position we tried I just couldn’t find comfort and make it happen it should. I was still hard but not rock hard and while I’m not small I just couldn’t fully penetrate her as we both wanted so we agreed it wasn’t working out so we moved back to other forms of pleasuring each other.

She was trimmed downstairs but not smooth so there were still hairs all around, and this was something I wondered about before I had even met. If I was going to perform cunnilingus on someone with hair what would it be like and would I enjoy it?

Well, it turns out I had nothing to worry about because as I first went down with my lips and worked my tongue over her clit I loved it and after a second I never thought about the hair and just kept going while I started to finger as well.

As with fingering her and using my hands on her clit, using my mouth to play was a huge pleasure point for her and fingering too increased that, as at one point I heard her say she was about to cum.

I’m not sure if she did cum or was that accurate but for the first time hearing that along with what seemed like genuine moans of pleasure really did make me happy and made what I was doing not only pleasurable for her but for me as well over and above what she was doing to me.

We went back to her coming on top of me, getting her lips around my nipples, hands over my cock and then her mouth over my cock whilst I touched her all over and played with her breasts until we reached the point of bringing me to orgasm.

This is where the second point of note came into play.

As she gave me oral and stroked me, it soon became apparent that I just wasn’t going to cum for some reason, it was no fault of hers because I loved how she pleasured me and up to that point I felt like I could come at certain times if we didn’t do other things, stop to get comfy and reposition ourselves.

I have no idea what happened, but even when I took over and let her watch me masturbate, which turns out to be a mutual turn-on for us both (Watching guys masturbate) I couldn’t make myself orgasm no matter how much pleasure I gave myself with her even joining in as well.

Eventually, we gave up and I assured her it was nothing to do with herself that I couldn’t orgasm and that all the pleasure I had given her was more than enough for me along with what she had done.

As things came to an end she showered as I got dressed and we chatted for several minutes afterwards as she was half naked in a towel and I made sure I had everything with me. As I left we exchanged one more short kiss as I said goodbye and mentioned how much fun it was before I went on my way like I was on cloud 9.

From my first kissing to cunnilingus and everything in between I felt like for my first time it went about as well as I’d hoped. 

The first kiss settled me down and while there were awkward moments, these were down to just two people being human and not the fact it was my first time. Any nerves I had definitely left me as soon as I walked through the door and after initial exchanges of pleasure I felt very much comfortable doing most things other than anything related which she wasn’t into and other than feeling her ass I left that area alone.

When telling a very good blogging friend about my experiences, a friend who loves to hear all my good stuff, she asked me a really good question which was “What was your favourite part?? If you can pick”

Now The whole experience was good but I said to her that while “I love the kissing as my first time, getting to play with her clit and all that area was so fun”.

Naturally, I wanted the pleasure of my own but honestly, for me, the best part of it all was giving her pleasure.

Playing with her clit, fingering her either separately or at the same time and most of all performing cunnilingus and getting to taste her. 

I loved the taste of her, I loved feeling her clit on my tongue, my fingers wet as they were inside her and being able to see and hear that doing all of this was giving her so much pleasure which in turn gave me just as much.

I didn’t care that I couldn’t orgasm or that I failed at PIV because from the kissing, her oral skills, her handjob skills and just being super hot was all I could ask for, and all the pleasure I could give her more than made it for it and satisfied me as much if not more than any orgasm would.

It even helped that because I hadn’t orgasmed with her I was then able to think back to the afternoon as I grabbed lunch keeping me in the mood till got home and would hopefully then be able to orgasm to the thoughts of everything I had done, with this happening 9 hours later and it didn’t disappoint either.

It may have taken me to the age of 36 to have a sexual experience with a woman but god damn was it ever worth it in the end, I’m sure as heck hoping to see her again in the future.

[Revelations/February PhotoFest 2023] – Loving myself, loving others and being loved

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

~ Paulo Coelho

Instead of a usual prompt there is a quote this week for revelations coinciding with Valentines. I’ve already gone into detail about being addicted to love over a year ago but this year is different and for this post I am looking love from a different persepctive.


I am by nature a lover of all kinds whether it’s family, real life friendships, online friendshsips or even relationships I have.
Some people will be aware of this love I have if they and I chat more often, they will see me for who I am and just how much love I can give no matter who they are to me.

The one thing missing from this observation is the love I have for myself, in fact that’s the one area I have neglected over the years.
I often see myself as being flawed in many ways, I often see some of these flaws on a daily basis and I often associate them with many things wrong in my life and therefore I don’t find love within myself.

It’s funy that I am addicted to being in love and how good that is, but that I don’t give it to myself.

In 2023 I am realising that if I can love others no matter what then I can surely love myself, it’s no good to be filled with love for them, giving them all the nice words of love and support but then neglect to do the same for myself.
There is also the fact that if the love I give to others is reciprocated back to myself then surely there is lots to love about myself.

I am doing more for myself this year, trying to make all the things happen and so hopefully I will end up with more love for myself come the end of the year.
I also hope that this may lead to being love in more wasy than one.

The below image is an old one (Edited for this post) that has always been a favourite of mine simply because you can easily see the shape of a heart in my butt and I have to remind myself that it can show me that there ois love within myself and I must see it.

Up close with what’s hiden underneath

I’m a lover of lingerie, not only lingerie on others but also wearing lingerie myself.
There is a small sexual element to this but for the most part I often just love the way it feels to wear and the way it looks when I do.

In everyday life though I usually don’t wear lingerie out and about instead wearing boxers, though I did wear lingerie the other day when out food shopping but that’s an exception.

Just like most people I see or know, I don’t tend to share what kind of underwear i’m wearing whether it’s lingerie or just an average pair of boxers and they don’t share it with me.
But the thing here is that if I happened to mention I had a funky a pair of boxers on or I had just bought them it wouldn’t be much of a thing. Maybe an “Oh cool” or whatever would be the response, and if it was a new purchase maybe someone would want to see them in the packagaing but they wouldn’t think twice.

If I on the other hand mentioned wearing some nice lingerie, maybe a bright pink or red pair with little details then I can imagine some people might be taken back, they might have certain views on I as a male wearing lingerie and the views certainly wouldn’t be the same as with me in boxers.

Of course some might be understanding more than others but even in 2023 I still hide the fact I have lingerie and wear it.
There is at least one person in my family that knows about my lingrie and maybe another who might know too but even at this I still keep my collection hidden away from my everyday boxers.

I try not to leave pieces out, I tend not to wear pieces when I’m going certain places and for now I don’t often get any new stuff because as much as I am comfortable in lingerie and I am of the option it’s OK for anyone to wear lingerie I still don’t feel comfortable in being open with it outside of blogging and related social media, where I can be open about it, and infact I’ve shared pics recently on my blog and with people on Discord.

I wish I didn’t have to hide wearing lingerie, I wish I knew that people in my life would be OK with the fact and that it’s not a sexual thing for me.

Sometimes I love being comfy in a nice new pair of boxers but other times I prefer to wear something like a colourful bit of lingerie that definitely looks so much nicer than boxers.
Wearing lingerie even makes taking pictures that much more fun and I find that some lingerie can do a good job at showing off my ass or other parts of me well,

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Touched all over

So for the final day of January Jumpstart 2023 I end the month, the blog and for me personally on a high note.

I wrote about my love of touch here and said in it “In 2023 I would love to get more touch in my life”.
I also said “I’m not sure how this will work out but I can only hope it happens.”

When I wrote that post I really wasn’t sure when or how I’d get to satisfy my craving for touch, I wasn’t sure if I ever would any time soon but at the time of writing this post (31/01) I made this a reality.

I won’t go into details relating to the trials and tribulations of making it happen, but lets just say I got through my anxiety and confidence to try and make things happen, to keeping going when there was setbacks and to eventually make it a reality.

When it was time I stood outside her flat/appartment, sent a message to say I had arrived to get the exact door number so I could be buzzed in and make my way there.
As I go to the 4th floor I headed right as instructed and reached her door giving it a quick knock.

I was greeted with a hello at the door, let in and given a kiss.
She was wearing a sexy light nightwear piece covering most of her body but not leaving much to the imgaination.

She offered me a drink, the use of her shower and we exchanged some light conversation.
We then both undressed as I got her her figure that was under the nightweat she had on, I had seen various pictures of her but in the flesh she was even more gorgeous.

I lay face down on her bed a towel under me and two custions for my face, she explained what she was doing working on my legs first and then moving on from there.
As I lay there barely able to see what was happening I heard the sound from the bottle of oil being squeezed and then felt her relaxing hands work on the back of my legs.

She slowly worked from the bottom of my right leg upwards reaching my ass and working it too, then after a while she switched legs again working her way to my ass before working on that.
As she got more into it I got lost in the moment, I had no external thoughts or than what she was doing, what I could feel and the sounds I could hear and she massaged me.

She then reach my back and shoulders working on them before going all over down my back, massaging my ass and legs apply fresh oil every so often. Each touch, each stroke of her hands and each word she said to me gave me goosebumps, it relaxed me and made me feel at ease.
Then she whispered “This is the best bit of the massage” as I titled my head to just about see her using her whole body against mine.

When she was done she then asked if I’d like to massage her which I promptly agreed and she lay face down giving me free reign over her smooth body massaging her from the legs, up to her peachy ass and back making sure everything was good to which she replied “It’s just about the touch” and less about my massage skills.

Once I was done she flipped over and allowed me to work on her front and getting my first hands on expereince with her smaller but nicely formed breasts alongh with the rest of her within reason (No fingering or such which I obeyed). I was able to compliment her belly button peircing and tattoo which gave us a nice conversation on the subject of tattoos.

Her body was extra smooth, breasts nice and squeezable and all round she was perfectly formed as I explored all of her with my limited massage skills but a desire to make sure I gave her as much pleasure as she was giving me.

She then sat up, made me lay down as she then massaged all of my front, again starting from the legs upwards.
Her soft hands and the feel of the oil was evern more relaxing since I could now see all of her beauty and what she was doing.
I’m not sure how qualified at massaging she is, nor have I really had many massages but whatever she was doing was wonderful.

Things then progressed as she worked my cock a little before she sat on me and my hands couldn’t help but wander to her breasts and ass before out bodys became one. Her naked body on mine set me to the most relaxed confortable state I’ve ever been in for a while, I enjoyed touching all of her as she touch me and we both made lots of sounds to show our enjoyment.

Her working of my cock was termporary, a tease to get me hard, but then in what seemed like no time afterwards she began to stroke it, I could feel it getting harder as she got faster and slower moaning with pleasure every so often.

If I was worried about prematurely coming (I wasn’t) I certainly needn’t be, because I was able to enjoy and extended period of pleasure as she lubed me up and let her hands do all the work.
My moans eventually got louder the faster she went as I twiched at every pleausre sensation riding through me untill I couldn’t take it anymore.

Her final stoke sent me into a forceful orgasm, literally shooting a thick load the length of my body to my shoulder area. I had held of masturbation for the 2 days leading upto this, and the day prior I had go tso horny and teased myself with porn, but knowing I wanted to save myself for the happy ending to my massage I stopped myself from even having any play whatsoever.

As I orgasmsed, she played with me a little longer where I sometimes can be sensitive but because it was so good I ended up not feeling anything but pleasure.

Once I was done I showered to clean of the oil and from my orgasm while she stayed naked as I did and then as I got dressed giving me extra visual pleasre right until I got a goodbye kiss then left.

It arrived slowly but went by so qucikly, I had spent 7 years without getting any touch and when I finally did it was over in a flash but well worth it.

Looking back I am happy that I made it happen, I’m happy I got over my anxiousness and worked through all the trials and tribulations to make it happen.
I’m happy I took the time to do something relaxing and fun for myself having worked a lot, many months in fact having only my usual 2 days off each week and not spending any of them doing something like this.

I feel like it has set me up to make this happen again, maybe with the same lady if she’s ever in town when we are both available or if not with someone else.
Maybe I can work up to doing more, seeking out new pleasures and doing things that will bring me joy, that will help me forget about life, about work or about anything bad for an hour or more.
Maybe it’ll be helpful to meet new people, have these experiences and know that I can do even more.

[January Jumpstart 2023] – January recap + Updates

I wanted to use January Jumpstart to kickstart my blog off well in 2023, allow me to write more and generally get back into the swing of things for blogging.
I also wanted to use some of these posts to share my goals for the year, have a written account of things and allow me like with the blog kickstart my personal off well.

In this post I want to look back at January, look at the posts on my blog and dive into my personal life.
See what I’ve managed to do or not do in the first month of the year and what it may mean going forward.

First of I counted 14 posts on my blog so out of the 31 days in January, I’ve posted for just under half of that which is great. I wanted to get back to blogging, I wanted to do more written content and so in that regard I definitely did it.

I posted about a variety of topics, from my goals for the year to sharing one of the darkest times in my life.
There was the relisation that it was or will be a decade since I first got into sex toys with this post and honestly I can’t believe it’s been so long.

One of my posts was on the subject of touch, how I love touch and how I hoped to get more touch in 2023. I even said “I’m not sure how this will work out but I can only hope it happens.”
Well thankfully and quite suprisingly I am making that happen, tomrrow as of when I write this (30/01) I have booked an body to body massage and naturally I’ll satisy my craving for touch for the first in forever.

I wrote a post on my goals and a sort of follow up post on wanting to make all these goals happen rather than putting them off.
As above, I made progress on the latter post by booking the massage though it took requesting several different people before I got one that actually responded to me.

On the topic of goals I had my remianing holiday time from worked taken and managed to book a trip away wth my mum, we had a family holiday last year but as there wasn’t going to be one this year I promised I’d take her away just the two of us since we haven’t been away together much and I know i could take her where she wanted to go (London).

So as you can see, by the tail end of January I have managed to do a lot.
I’ve been regularly blogging and I have managed to work on some of my goals and make happen some the things I wanted from this year.

Going forward I’m hoping to use January as the basis for doing more blogging, to continue participating in memes and sharing various thoughts and feelings plus hopefully many more new images.
I’m also hoping I can use January and the confidence I’ve gained to do more personal stuff and to do more things that also might end up on the blog.

I can’t go into details on everythiong because I just don’t know but for now it’s been a great start to my year and long may it continue.

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Changing relationship views

The Revelations prompt is dates and dating and with this I want to explore how I currently see myself in regards to this.
The things I am leearning and who I feel like I am becoming in the world of dating.

I’ve never been one to date much, I’ve had a grand total of maybe 2 relationships in my life.
The first was a teenage relationship where I became friends with a girl who I eventually fell for and we dated for about 7 months before I ended it.

The 2nd was someone I became friends with online and we sort of had something that I call dating/relationship. I don’t know how long it was thing but after a while we sort of just drifted apart and things ended.
We are still friends even if we don’t talk all that often, and I still have a love and appreciation for her in life.

From these 2 relationships and through life in general monogamous was who I was. I liked the idea of dating the one person and one person only, putting my time and effort into them and enjoying the relationship we have. I’ve always fallen for someone hard so being with them was all I wabted
Over the years though, particularly more recently, I’ve begun to see a lot more outside of monogamy and it has started to change how I think about dating and relationships.

Whether it’s people at work, people online or just people I see on my commute a lot, I’m finding so many beautiful people out there. Not just beautiful in the physical sense but in how nice they can be around me and others, how they spread joy to me and how they can make me smile.

Through these people I’m seeing so many different dynamics to each one, and while not all are people I want to date for many reasons, I am finding the act of having “The One” to be less important to me.
Yes I still would gladly fall in love with someone who I spend the rest of my life with, but I’ve opened my eyes to that not being the case, to not only having one partner but more than that, or having my partner have their own partner.

I love to love, and I love to see other people love, I love to see other people happy as much as I love being happy myself.
This could be in a relationship where we have a mutal understand that we both have other partners for different reasons. I understand it may be that I can only provide so much to someone and so they have another someone for what I can’t give, it might be that I love what they can give me but I have someone else who offers what they can’t.

I am still new to non-monogamy, still to learn a lot about it and yet to be in a relationship that is non-monogamous.
But from this I am beginning to realise that no everyone is monogamous, that may not fit them and so they seek alternative dating options, the fact that monogamy is not the standard of relationship that we should all be doing.
On the other hand not everyone wants to be non-monogamous, they may want to have a singular partner and that’s totally fine, it’s whatever works for them at the end of the day and makes them happy.

So when it comes to dating I can’t say i’m 100% monogamous nor that I’m non-monogamous but I’ll take each dating sceanrio as it comes and do what’s best for two people together.
Maybe in several years I’ll be able to say for certain where I fit in, or maybe like at this moment in time I will be open to both monogamy and non-monogamy.

[January Jumpstart 2023] – Body Count, I hate it but I don’t either

The term body count is not something I’ve ever used no mater how many dating apps/sites I’ve been on, or how many times I’ve planned potential hookups.
For me it’s not important how many sexual partners others have had, if we’re getting together for sex, a date or even for a relationship I’m only focused on the here and now, whatever is happening between us and not what has gone on before me.

The idea that body count means something and might even affect things between two people is to me a strange idea. If you’ve slept with 1 or 100 people I don’t want to know, it doesn’t affect me and doesn’t change what would happen between us ince it’s going to be different to whoever you may have slepty with before.

In terms of my own body count, I rarely get asked that question and for the most part it’s never asked as “What’s your body count?”.
The way in which I feel like body count might benefit me is in explaining this to people be it hookups or whoever.
I’m not one to have had much sex in whatever way you care to define what constitutes sex, and so for me my own personal use the term body count is one I use to convey my lack of experience.
Sure I wish I had more sex now and in the past but the fact that my number is very low doesn’t matter as much and I’m definitely no one to say woe is me for his lack of sex.

What does matter is that whoever I’m with understands my lack of experience, understands they can’t expect things to go a certain way and understands that I want to do the best I can and we ensure us both getting as much pleasure out of the situation as possible.

At the end of the day body count in relation the to the amount of previous sexual partners doesn’t matter to me, I will never ask the querstion or mention the topic, yes I may bring up related things but more in a way that’s driving communication and understanding what we both might want to get out of the situation at hand. Be it my limited experiences with sex or the fact you might be more experienced in certain aspects I want to explore, these might come from body count but don’t refer to a number or the phrase itself.