![[January Jumpstart 2023] – Labels. A necessary evil?](https://adultexploration.files.wordpress.com/2023/01/pexels-photo-1111319.jpeg?w=1108&h=737&crop=1)
In some ways I love labels, I love knowing who someone is without having to ask, guess or just not know when it may be useful to know.
I love when someone can proudly label themselves and put it out there to the world for all to see and getting lots of love for it.
On the other hand I hate labels in reference to myself, I hate the fact that I feel the need to label myself despite how useful and how much it helps me in parts of my life.
I grew up into my late teens/early 20s with my sexuality being subconciously straight since I constantly fell for girls and felt like that’s just who I was, without ever questoning it when signs that I wasn’t came and went in a flash.
It wasn’t until my mid-20s onwards that I started to realise I may not be infact straight but something more.
I explored this, as I wrote here, and eventually I came to the realisation that I was bi-sexual more than anything.
This was the first time I had labeled my sexuality even if it was initially just to myself, it was the first time I had sat there and looked at everything that had come before and made the puzzles pieces fit together.
Even with knowing who I was and having a label for I still kept it to myself and didn’t feel like outing myself just yet. It was partially because I wasn’t comfortable sharing it with others and partly because I didn’t feel like I should need to share it.
I was aware that family woud be more than OK with it but until such times that I’d need to bring it up I couldn’t do it and didn’t want to. Had I found myself entering into a relationship with another guy then yes I would have come out and said “Look here’s my new BF, I’m bi-sexual” or something along those lines.
I love who I love, regardless of who they are and I don’t need a label to make it anymore or less valid, I don’t need to have this bright neon-sign so to speak glowing with the words bi-sexual and pointing to me in order to hook up with anyone that is the opposite sex.
I don’t want to label myself because of things that may happen just due to being bisexual. Thankfully I’ve had no negative experiences yet, probably as I’ve not been fully out there for long, but I see posts all the time and don’t want to have to deal with negativity surrounding who I am
On the other hand though I have realised that having a label for myself is a good thing, being able to convey the fact that I can have an attraction to anyone and everyone is nice.
It of course helps in dating or when i’m looking for some sexual fun as I’m not having people wondering what my preferences are and what I may or may not like.
Having a label helps me feel like I’m part of the LGTBQIA+ community and that I belong there, that I can be who I am no matter what, like many others in my position, who can relate to things I may have gone through.
Away from sexuality labels is those that I feel like stereotype who I am when in fact I am more than that.
Yes I’m male, yes I may be a gamer, a metal head and I may be a geek but I can enjoy the opposite of that.
I have and always will enjoy playing games like The Sims, enjoy music like Darren Hayes and even enjoy the act of wearing female lingerie to name just a few things, these are all in sharp contrast to how I may outwardly look to people whether it’s someone passing me inthe street or someone from work who may not know me all that well.
At the end of the day I just want to be myself.
I want to do whatever is best for me, like whoever and whataver I like without having to put a label on it.
Adult Exploration 
When I was 12, I was in our public library researching a book report when I had to go to the giant dictionary to look up a word I didn’t know the definition of when I came across the word, “bisexual” and after reading it, I loudly blurted out, “So that’s what I’ve been doing!” It wasn’t that I had been questioning my sexuality; admittedly, I was having [probably] too much fun having sex with boys and girls to be concerned about that but I did know that I wasn’t a “homo.”
If the shoe fits, wear it. Bisexual has worked for me ever since. We need labels so we can call stuff… something. Identification purposes. I’ve though that because we are historically weird about sex and sexuality, labels like “bi” and even “gay” upsets a lot of people who don’t believe that bi- and homosexuals should exist or are real and that tends to upset bisexuals to know that there are people who don’t like them plus, for some, the word clashes with their perceptions of sex and sexuality because we socially conditioned to be heterosexual only.
Thank you for sharing this; we need more bisexuals to speak out on things like this!
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