Dear Diary…. Please for the love of God make this year my year.
I’ve talked about the year ahead and all my plans and goals but in 2023 I want to achieve as many of these as possible, I want to make this my best year ever.
I always have plans and ideas for what I want in the new year but for many reasons I never ever make these ideas a reality. I always put things off and then by the time I revisit them its usually at a time when I can’t do anything.
It’s a mental block that I must overcome, I showed myself in 2021 that I can do things but I also shower myself that I can fuck it up.
Not only is it a mental block but its more than that. Firstly a lack of confidence in myself, not in actually doing things as I know I can but just being confident in making ideas a reality which I can then plan out and achieve. Once I have ideas out there and I have no reasons that I can’t do them it’s getting easier for me to plan.
Secondly it’s not knowing how to go about doing certain things, where do I look and what do I do? What do I do without coming across as awkward and even how do I not fuck things up.
For example I’m booking a trip away with my mum with multiple trains, a couple of hotels and at least 2 cities visited over 5 days. In the past this wouldn’t have been something I’d have done, but having got through one of my mental barriers it’s been a little easier to do and this is the sort of thing I want for all aspects of life.
No I’m not perfect and I will fuck things up, I’ll have many grand ideas that never happen and there will be things that only I can try to make reality but will not get the confidence to do and that’s on me.
But please can I just make this year my best ever, one filled with joyous memories and good times. A year filled with love and a bigger confidence that I can do things, that I’m comfortable with more and more.
I no longer want to put things off, I not longer want to feel bad when I do and know that it’s all because of I rather than anyone else.
Not everything is possible in the year but for what is let’s have a great 2023
One thought on “[January Jumpstart 2023] – Dear Diary… Open Honest and Raw”
Oh I can definitely relate to some of this. I definitely stop myself doing things. I am the one in my own way if that makes sense
I hope you find a better balance in 2023
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