If the question was asked of me “Do you have any regrets in life” then my answer would be an easy NO without any thought beforehand, but it’s more complicated than just saying NO and in writing this post I put out a poll on Twitter asking whether anyone had regrets with a simple Yes or No answer.
The response to that poll was an overwhelming yes with someone kindly replying to me and saying that it was more complex and went into some details as to why.
I think of myself as someone who can never be more than themselves, will do the best they can in life and be the best they can. I’ve been somewhat the same person since I was a teen, and that doesn’t mean I haven’t grown up or that I haven’t learned from past mistakes but I still try to be myself every day.
When I look at regret I think of all the times in my life from relationships I had that ended, the things I didn’t do but could have, the things I did but maybe shouldn’t have and everything in between that may have resulted in some form of regret after the fact.
Now If I’ve done anything bad, like things I really shouldn’t have done then I will always hold my hands up and say it was wrong I’m sorry and in those instances, I may have regret but for the most part, I’m not one to feel like I do anything that bad so never have I had any regret to that degree
Each regret worthy moment has a story behind it, a reason why I did certain things and both the good and the bad that came with them
For example, ending a relationship because I was putting in all the effort, getting not much back and it just not feeling right after 7 months was the right thing to do even if I still loved the girl and had a thought of “maybe I shouldn’t have initiated the ending”. If I didn’t do anything though I may have been happy for a lot longer, at the same time though, I would have been in a relationship that just wasn’t right for me just because I was in love with someone.
At each particular regretful moment in time, I was doing things that were right for me, I was just being myself and for anything I didn’t do, it was likely because I didn’t have the confidence or didn’t feel comfortable with it so naturally, I missed out but for good reason.
Saying I had regrets takes away from these things, it makes me feel like I am being negative towards myself in what I did and saying “Is being myself wrong”. or “I was stupid”.
No neither of these things or others are correct.
I may not have done something that was right in the end but at the same time, it wasn’t wrong to do.
I may have missed out on experiences but then again if I didn’t feel comfortable then I was right not to force myself to go ahead even if I wish I had and even wish it may have turned out well.
I’m not going to have regrets where there’s nothing I did to really regret, and if anything I may wish I had done things differently or that they had gone differently but I won’t sit here thinking negatively about all the things that have happened in my life.
For me, the best thing to do is learn from everything and look forward, put the past in the past and focus my mind on the current or new things in life, what can make me happy now or in the future.
Adult Exploration 