September is nearly over and this months theme for the Love Yourself meme was try something new which happens to coincide with the 1-year anniversary of the first post on my blog. To think I’ve been blogging for a whole year is so crazy to me, I mean I first started thinking about blogging in 2016 but didn’t take it anywhere (I have a published post from 2016).
Starting the blog came about after some initial guest sex toy reviews I did got well-received, and where I enjoyed the writing so much. From that, I felt like I could have a go at blogging and so I logged into my dormant WP account and set about creating the blog you see today. There was also the small matter of also wanting to participate in various memes that I was seeing on Twitter where I liked to look at other bloggers entries and enjoy.
I didn’t have all the experiences or knowledge to become a sex blogger and I never wanted to, but that angle of exploring myself in these new experiences past, present and future were ones I settled on pretty quickly hence the name.
A year on and I’ve certainly grown into the blog, figured out things along the way and in the case of my pictures I have definitely improved on that side of things greatly. Sure there is still lots I can learn and I can still grow, but for now, I am happy with where things are. There is lots of content on the blog which can and will be added to with more as the days, weeks and months roll on so I look forward to adding new things like posts and pictures.
Blogging has certainly been something new for me but I have had a great time thus far, and if you have ever read a post, viewed my pictures and interacted with a like and commented either on here or via Twitter then thank you so so much. I didn’t know what to expect starting the blog in terms of who would visit but I really appreciate each and every one of you who have, and those who come back week after week to view my content.
Try something new is the theme of Love Yourself for September, and oh boy did I take huge steps for myself, and although all plans didn’t go ahead it was still a massive thing I did.
If you know me, you will know that I’ve always been someone who has had these great ideas and plans for things I wanted to do only to never go through with them and then sometimes regret it even if it was just things on my own.
In 2021 though I’ve taken huge steps in changing this, one of them being a trip to London. The first step I took was going from plans in my head to actually booking something which I did, and the excitement that came from that was huge since I was doing something rather than just thinking about doing something. The next major step was that I had booked 5 days away and was going solo meaning I’d be not only the furthest away from home than I had ever been but also for the longest time. The final step was when I had 2 sets of plans come up with other people, one being really fun while the other being just a nice catchup with someone I had known for a while but never met.
The fact I was doing it was the big thing for me more than any anxiety. I knew I could do it but for some reason, in the past, I never would have gone through with it but here I was going to London.
Having been on the said trip I am so glad I went, and I feel like it has really helped me long term. Sure the lots of fun plans never happened (I won’t go into detail) but I met a wonderful friend my first day. We chatted and had a good laugh while I helped her with something creative, and overall it was great to finally meet someone I have known for a while. It was also great to just be social with someone, enjoy their company and get a hug at the end which meant so much to me as I appreciated the physical human connection, the warmth of someone that they felt happy to hug me and the feeling I was liked, and not just from behind a screen but IRL.
Overall my trip was great, including solo drinking on a Sat and Sun evening (Solo although I was messaging my best friend so not quite alone). It certainly gave me the confidence to know I can do things, not just travelling but meeting new people and also that these people liked me for who I am IRL.
Post London I’ve already gone out with work colleagues who are leaving, having food and drinks and this is something I never used to do beyond staff nights out. I also have a final trip this year booked for a few weeks time where I will meet even more new people and hopefully improve on how social I am and get confidence from how others see me which I hope is positive.
All of this can be helpful to me as a person, in showing that who I come across online is how people might see me IRL, that I can be more confident in myself and that I can do more of the things I’d like to do whether it’s something that pops up or is something I’ve thought about in the past.
Tattoos are something I love in various ways, and I currently have two on myself with many more to come.
The first tattoo I ever got was a heartagram on my wrist which is the symbol from a band I really like called HIM, and for most people who don’t know them or the heartagram symbol this is what it represents.
I wasn’t thinking of it consciously, but it was this combination of heart and pentagram, the soft and the hard, the male and the female, the yin and the yang – which, for me, is important.
The reason behind getting it for me was not just to show my love for a band but the fact It could represent a lot of things and that I could fit them into who I was and who I am. It was also done as a small taster to getting tattoos to see if I liked it and wanted more which of course afterwards I immediately wanted another one as I loved the sensation of getting tattooed.
The 2nd tattoo I have as pictured was one from my tattoo artists folder of his designs he wanted to tattoo which meant he discounted them, and I just so happened to like this design. The text reads “Let my enemies devour each other” which I’m not sure the exact artists meaning of it as it’s been that long since I got it. For me though, I relate to the enemies as not only people but as things in life that affect me likes stresses and such. The idea that I try to step away from all these things, try to let them do their own thing as I look to the positives in life and the things I do away from certain people, certain stresses or just life, in general, that isn’t fun.
With both of my tattoos and in particular my 2nd one I loved the feeling of the needles from the tattoo gun as they pierced my skin and left ink on it. The 2nd tattoo being bigger and more involved meant it took around an hour and a half to do and while not reaLL painful bar a few spots I loved the sensation I felt and even on the odd painful spots I knew the pleasure of getting tattooed and the end result was worth it.
After my 2nd I have thought about a 3rd, and I have a basic idea of what I want which I’m hoping the artist I go to next can build upon my idea and make it into something more, and fitting to me. I’m not sure when I’ll get it (was thinking 2020 but then I never managed it before you know what happened) but I crave the sensation of being tattooed again, that pain for pleasure feeling as needles hit the skin and I know ink is flowing to make art on my body.