“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.”Anne Frank
I see a lot of darkness in me, some days it’s more than others but it’s there, whether or not I share it on twitter, write a blog post or even talk about it with a friend.
From the blog I’ve started a journey as mentioned before, I’ve gained a lot of light from it in the form of confidence, being more open and having a reasont oe explore a lot more plus there are things happening because of it which I love.
Defy the darkness
This journey defies the darkness in that I see the good from what I do.
The pictures I take for my blog get seen in a positive light and show me that I can share myself without feeling any form of body confidence issues.
The interactions I have on twitter show me that there are lots of wonderful people out there, many of whom I can share what I do with, have a common interest with and just enjoy being social.
They also can be wonderful at picking me up when I’m down and getting me through a day.
In other ways I’ve found a confidence to get out there and do more for myself.
There is a trip to London booked where I’ll be having lots of fun and meeting a few twitter people, something which I would have thought about but never done in the past.
Finally all of the above has made me realise who I am, and who I’m not.
There’s lots of me I’m letting go, things that used to be who I was that no longer fit and just things that may be part of me but that aren’t as high a priority as they used to be.
Defining the darkness
As much as the journey I’m on has lots of good, it also definies the darkness of me a little more than I’d like.
I recently made a post on life behind the scenes IRL away from the blog and that fits here quite well.
For every good part of my blog/twitter/that side of me, I am reminded that not all of it extends to the real life I have.
I don’t have a lot of friends that I can go out and socialise with and very few if no friends I know that would be able to talk kink or similar.
All the fun planned for my London trip is just that, planned for then but afterwards I travel many miles back home to where I am now.
I an constantly reminded about the life I have away from blogging/twitter and this makes it more of a reminder of how both aren’t always fun.
Sure I’m trying to work on meeting new people close by and putting myself out there more, but what I’m doing isn’t exactly going as well as things are on the blogging/twitter side.
I am trusting myself to do more and defy the darkness that I have, that things will go my way and all will be good in my life.
It’s not easy and it won’t come quickly but I remind myself that It will come with a bit of paitence as long as I keep going and have the confidence to do it which I know I can.