Month: July 2021

[Sinful Sunday] Kneel before me!

The prompt for Sinful Sunday was angles so I put on my new kneeling restraint as I showered, capturing the water as it came down on me from above.

Unable to freely move as I was restrained made it all the hotter, for which the cold water of the shower cooled me down.

[KOTW] – Fucked by a machine – Fantasies and basic realities.

Fucking machines!
Outside of real life and fantasies

The first time I ever came across a fucking machine was in some porn video I watched in my teens.
I was fascinated by how utilitarian it looked and how you could see it at work thrusting in and out of the girl in the video.

The idea that the girl in question was tied up and not in control turned me on, she was at the mercy of someone else using the controller, unable to alter her body to adjust for each thrust especially as it got faster and faster.
Her moans grew louder as the machione got faster, you could see it spinning and then watching the dildo thrust in and out at a speed I hadn’t witnessed before, then her moands turned into screams untill she couldn’t take it anymore.

I was hooked on the video, hooked on seeing others fucked by a machine especally when tied down and having no control over what happened to them.

It was untill I got into anal play that I found myslef fantasising about fucking machines, how I could be fucked with a machine, the dildo of my choosing on the end and someone else in control of what happened.
Being tied up and restrained was something I began to think about too, how I would be limited in what I could do, how I could move and coupled with being in no control of the machine I would be at the mercy of the person with the controller as they slowed down to tease me, sped up to edge me and and took me through a whole range of pleasure that only a machine can bring.
I also had fantasies of spit roasting as the machine fucked me and I sucked a cock.

I imagine the person with control could set it and forget it, sitting there watching me get fucked, get up and stand there in front of me playing with themselves as I watched unable to do anything, they may even fuck or just play with someone else in front of me

All these fantasies have stayed in my head for years and I oftenm come back to them when I’m in the right mood.

Fucking Machines!
A limited IRL experience of not a fucking machine

As much as I’ve fantasied about fucking machines I have no real life experience with them yet, I see them as big, bulky and pricey to have in the home andi’ve not known or been anywhere with one.

Despie the above I do have a toy that works on a vary similar level to a fucking machine if it is more basic.
That toy is a thrusting anal vibe, a simple USB rechargeable toy that is not big, bulky nor does it cost as much as a machine.

I am currently going solo, but I wanted this thrusting toy as a way to satify my fucking machine fantasies and the idea that I could be fucked when I wasn’t getting it IRL.

Using the toy on me I set it to the low speed to start, get into a position for it to work well and let it thust away. I set it and forget it as it fucks me, thinking of it being someone as I moan and groan with pleasure.

I stop to turn it up to the highest setting and get even more pleasure, I am also playing with my cock and have a smart masturbation toy that’s also like a machine at the ready just in case fancy having the felling of being fucked and fucking at the same time.

As both toys go I lose all thoughts, my moans get louder and I feel the intense pleasure flow through me.
I am stopping myself from adjusting the toys other than to increase or decrease the speed depending on my pleasure, I let them thrust away and get lost in my thoughts and forgetting about anything going on around me. The noises from outside, the time and even my surroundings just get blurred and silenced as I get all the pleasure.

When I finally do orgasms I’m weak at the knees, my legs like jelly as I try to stand up and get back to reality. I’m sure this pleasure is tame in comparison to a proper sex machine and someone or several people to control it but having never experienced one this is the best I have.

I read a post on this topic that talked about humiliation and that’s one aspect I’ve never thought about too much. If I was to be fucked by a fucking machine and with others involved I’d likely love it but until then I have no reason to really think about it.

Final thoughts on fucking machines.

Do I want to be part of someone getting fucked by a fucking machine….Hell yes.
Being part of someone elses pleasure, controlling what happens and being able to see and hear their reaction is a big turn for me even if I didn’t get pleasure myself.
The act of them not having control and being teased by me before I up the ante and edge them, how I make them cum multiple times and watch as they do knowing I had exact control.

Do I want to get fucked by a fucking machine? As above hell yes I do.
This isn’t like previous KOTW posts of mine, where I explore a kink at the back of my mind that I may or may not love
Ever since I got comfortable with anal play I’ve always loved the thought of a fucking machine being used on me and it may not be in my mind always but when it is I love it

I want to have no control over what happens, be tied up or otherwise unable to move as I am fucked, Maybe I even be involved in a spit roast, being fucked by a machine as I suck cock.

I’m not sure currently if I’ll ever get to use a fucking machine but it’s a fantasy I hope could become a reality.

[Quote Quest] – Future memories

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.”
Dr. Seuss

Although I’ve lived in my current house for 16 years, it’s never truly felt like home for a number of reasons.
It’s had some good memories, some good times but also a lot of bad or just generally been at a time in my life where there was nothing good happening.

In those 16 years I’ve never really had many good moments to value, the way I was in myself impacted on what I did or didn’t do and so the moments I wish I had never came.
I can think of many moments that were in my head, they kept me going even if I never acted on them and I guess it was the hope that kept me coming back to them.

Thankfully in 2021 I’ve found myself acting more on my thoughts, doing more for myself and trying to create all these momemts while pushing aside the old me.

I don’t want to live of of past memories alone, what came before, but I also want to look forward to what comes next.
I am exploring more, making new friendships and now have a moment to come which I am looking forward to that I know will give me the biggest smile ever.

I want these moments to come more often, to have all these fun times whether it be meeting up with friends for drinks, traveling and exploring new cities, enjoying some fun times with people that put a big smile on my face and make me giddy with excitement or just being adventurous like I have done a few times in the past.

Far too long has my life been dull and without much excitement in the way I’d like, but 2021 is the start.
The start of pushing myself to new heights (I hate heights lol) taking all of who I’m finding myself out to be and living out the life of that person I’ve become whilst having big grins on my face, naughty messages on my phone, blog posts and images about my fun and tweets sharing my utter joy and excitement of whatever I’ve done.

The memories of my past make me who I am, they remind me of times gones by and the people sadly lost in my life, but going forward I hope to rely on them less and less as the new moments take over and brighten my life in more ways than I’d ever imagine.

[Sinful Sunday] Mirrors

“I look in the mirror and see a few scars, but I like myself. “
Steven Adler

[Sinful Sunday] Nude in the woods

I stood there nude in the woods, the sunshine splitting through the trees for a good 15-20 minutes, with a sense of freedom about me and I felt at one with nature.

[Quote Quest] – The darklight of me

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.”
Anne Frank

I see a lot of darkness in me, some days it’s more than others but it’s there, whether or not I share it on twitter, write a blog post or even talk about it with a friend.

From the blog I’ve started a journey as mentioned before, I’ve gained a lot of light from it in the form of confidence, being more open and having a reasont oe explore a lot more plus there are things happening because of it which I love.

Defy the darkness

This journey defies the darkness in that I see the good from what I do.

The pictures I take for my blog get seen in a positive light and show me that I can share myself without feeling any form of body confidence issues.

The interactions I have on twitter show me that there are lots of wonderful people out there, many of whom I can share what I do with, have a common interest with and just enjoy being social.
They also can be wonderful at picking me up when I’m down and getting me through a day.

In other ways I’ve found a confidence to get out there and do more for myself.
There is a trip to London booked where I’ll be having lots of fun and meeting a few twitter people, something which I would have thought about but never done in the past.

Finally all of the above has made me realise who I am, and who I’m not.
There’s lots of me I’m letting go, things that used to be who I was that no longer fit and just things that may be part of me but that aren’t as high a priority as they used to be.

Defining the darkness

As much as the journey I’m on has lots of good, it also definies the darkness of me a little more than I’d like.
I recently made a post on life behind the scenes IRL away from the blog and that fits here quite well.

For every good part of my blog/twitter/that side of me, I am reminded that not all of it extends to the real life I have.
I don’t have a lot of friends that I can go out and socialise with and very few if no friends I know that would be able to talk kink or similar.
All the fun planned for my London trip is just that, planned for then but afterwards I travel many miles back home to where I am now.

I an constantly reminded about the life I have away from blogging/twitter and this makes it more of a reminder of how both aren’t always fun.

Sure I’m trying to work on meeting new people close by and putting myself out there more, but what I’m doing isn’t exactly going as well as things are on the blogging/twitter side.

Trusting myself

I am trusting myself to do more and defy the darkness that I have, that things will go my way and all will be good in my life.

It’s not easy and it won’t come quickly but I remind myself that It will come with a bit of paitence as long as I keep going and have the confidence to do it which I know I can.

[Sinful Sunday] Flexibillity

“IDK if I’m very flexible but this I can do” I said to someone as I had just taken this image from a hotel room.

[KOTW] – A secret love of gags??

Like many things, gags are something I’ve thought about in the past, but then they have slowly been pushed to the back of my mind in favour of other things.

This wonderful and hot post from Honey at happycomelucky happened to be the first I saw for this topic, and not only did her writring inspire me to write something for this, but it also brought back lots of thouhgts I previously had to the front of my mind.
It also reminded me about how I have expereince of gagging that I did solo.

I’ve never owned an actual gag, but I have used other items I have as improvised gags on a few ocassions, mainly knickers.

A secret love I titled this, and that’s because I haven’t done gag stuff often or with anyone outrside of myself but the more I think of it and the more I am explore kinks and fetishes like it now, it makes me think I actually might love it more than I thought.

The real life gagging I have played with is with knickers, particularly those I got from a friend online but this also ties into future pleasures IRL during fun.

The knickers I bought came from a friend who played in them before she sent them to me so when I got them a day or two later her fresh scent was all over them. The juices from her play still lingered and the scent was wonderful.

Shoving them in my mouth during play allows me to taste all of her juices and smell all of the scents together. I am able to muffle my moans and satify my cravings for something in my mouth.

With a partner I am able to imagine them here with me as I’m watching them play and getting the knickers all wet for me as they then get pleasure as I enjoy the fruits of their pleasure.

Maybe the partner has already played once before I was with them, they want me to taste and smell them before I get the real thing.
Shoving the knickers into my mouth as if to say “this is what I taste like”, “this is only a taster for the real thing later”, even teasing me into wanting to taste them even more.

How far am I prepared to go to get a taste of you without actually having you, how much teasing can I take and how much do you enjoying doing it to me knowing that when I do get it, it will be so much hotter.

So what is it that I find so appealing as I think about actual gags?
Well this isn’t from experience but what I’ve started fantasising about for writing this post beyond the above semi-real life experiences.

Firstly it starts with wearing the gag, having something in my mouth that someone has put on me for a good reason, maybe a form punishment, not strict punishment mind you but definitely for something I’ve done or not done.
I have a love for having stuff in my mouth or my mouth on stuff so the gag not only satisfies that but also adds a craving because I can’t have a cock in my mouth, I can’t put my mouth all over your cunt or I can’t suck nipples amongst other things.

With a gag in my mouth it stops my abillity to talk, it allows a partner a level of control over me, conseually able to do as they pleases without me able to say a word.
I can’t convey the fact I love what they’re doing, maybe they’ve reached a sensitive area or maybe I’m just enjoying the pleasure.
Any pleasure I get makes me moan but all that is heard is mumbles which from the outside I find hot knowing what they’re trying to do but the gag is causing it not to come out as it would without them.

I find giving someone control over what I do hot as hell, and so the gag allows a partner this control and I give in to what they do, squirming when they reach sensitive areas and just enjoying all what they want want to do to me without me saying a word as I can’t and unable to dictate what they do.

Another aspect is that any loud noise is heard through walls, and rather than be quiet during fun I am gagged, the moans are somewhat silenced but still audible between us.
I find it hot having a desire to be loud but having it supressed by the gag, and knowing that when I hear others in the next room of say a hotel or in the hallway with them unaware of what is going on in the room.

I wish I hadn’t put gags and gagging to the back of my mind as the thoughts and fantasises I got writing this post have made me quite hot and bothered.

I realise that in the right scenario with a partner, gags or improvised gags are something I want to experience as I am finding that I maybe love them more than I thought. That bringing the thoughts to the front of my mind for this post has made think I secretly had a love for gags I never knew. I will be adding it to the things I explore, and not as a maybe I’ll like or want to try situation but as in a “I love it and want to do it more.”

Living life Part 2 – Behind the scenes and the not so good.

I wrote this post for the most recent Quote Quest on how I’m finally living life.

There are many things in that post which were good for me recently and also are good for me in the future which I love and look forward to.
Behind the scenes and what people don’t see is somewhat of a different story though.

I have a life outside of twitter including a job but also adult responsibillities beyond just paying the bills.
This life is not so easy sometimes, the responsibillities I have can be stressful and combied with my job it can be full on some days/weeks.

Unfortunately the good things in my post don’t always extend to the real life which is something I’m trying to work on but things aren’t quite working out the way I’d like.
I’m very appreciative for all the wonderful people on twitter I interact with and for the ones I will meet soonish IRL, but in my real life it’s just me (Outwith family and the one I care for at home).
Sure I have people at work I’m friendly with, but I don’t really for now have many options for people I can go out and meet up with, have a coffee or just chat and be company.

My new found confidence and all of what I’m doing on here and twitter have made me want to find like minded people IRL, not just someone for having fun with but to be able to be friends, talk about kinks, NSFW stuff and anything else in general on similar topics.

I know I’m confident enough to get what I’d like but it’s knowing how do I do it, can I do it (Finding people, places…etc) and then just actually doing it.

It’s tough having all the good in my life from blogging, twitter and when I get out and take pics, but then on the flip side not have some of this in my real life away from all of that.

I have lots of good to look forward to so I should be happy about that and try to focus on that as a way to kick my mind away from the bad or look to use it in a good way to get more stuff in my real life.

[Sinful Sunday] Kiltless but covering my modesty

K is the prompt and having shot in my kilt previously for the triptych prompt I decided to lose the kilt.

I’m kiltless but still covering my modesty.