“Give me words that make my mind curl before my toes.”
Looking up to understand the proper definition really got me thinking about not only how I see others but how they might see me.
The definition of sapiosexual is someone who is “sexually attracted to a person’s intellect or mind before appearance.” Now I honestly can’t say I’ve ever had a sexual attraction to the intellect or mind of someone but I have realsied both of those have come into play in my head albeit subconsciously.
Firstly though, when I think about the definition I don’t immediately equate it to a broader intelligence or someone you may class as ” smart ” because of the education they had, the job they’re in or whatever.
When I really think about sapiosexual and the way I see intelligence in others, is the desire to have a job, education or interest/hobby that they can share with me in a way that’s enjoyable for both parties. It may be sharing something we both have an interest, a topic that although we may have differing viewpoints it sparks and enjoyable and friendly discussion or it may be a satifying situation they’ve had in life or their job and I’m happy to let them enjoy talking to me about it. All of this will have a layer of intelligence, something someone is knowledgeble on and their sharing this with me. Being knowledgeble doesn’t have to mean the person is talking about “smart” things that you can label right or wrong especially with it’s personal stuff.
When thinking about the mind I relate it to how someone sees the world, things within it or even themseleves and how they relay that outwordly. It may not be that said person has the same views as I do, but being able to show their love for things like animals, wildlife, maybe showing a caring side to all who they meet and even just having the mindset of a kind human being in whatever they do.
I guess I am not sapiosexual and even though I don’t have a general attraction to intelligence or the mind I still find ways to notice and enjoy both when I’m arround people .
“The day I changed was the day I quit trying to fit into a world that never really fit me.”
When it comes to change I’ve never liked having to change to fit into the world, and ever since my teens I’ve always avoided it as much as possible because at the end of the day that’s not ME, it’s not who I am and likely never will be.
In everyday life I try to do what makes me happy, be the person I love to be and not care what others may think of that.
Yes I label myself as male as that’s what I’ve always done, but I don’t conform to the way the world might want me to even if not all of me is out in the open. Being an adult has made me reaslise that I’m bi/pan but it’s also shown me that I also don’t see myself in a typical male/guy way. While I don’t want to be feminine and dress up in female clothes I do appreciate lingerie more than just wearing it for pleasure in a sexual way but because I enjoy wearing it like the opposite sex would everday and also just enjoying the way it looks.
I also see myself as being able to enjoying everything and anything whether it’s meant for male, female or any gender really even it’s not the one I call myself.
I’ve had comments on my apperance before from somone relating to my hair and beard on multiple occasions. Whether it was telling me I needed a hair cut or that my beard made me look like terrorist I’ve often related these comments to their view on how I should look vs how I choose to look and what makes me happy. Of course I have shaved my beard off as well as self-shaved all my hair, but this has been because I wanted to do it rather than giving in to those comments.
In simple terms I do what I want and avoid what I don’t, that’s what makes me who I am. I quit trying to fit into the world in my teens but it’s only been as I got older where I’ve taken teen me and kept him going albeit with an adult head on.
As the Queen song goes “Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” Well for this weeks Sinful Sunday, and inspired by a post from the sexiliciousash blog, I decided to have a play around with a realisic penis toy in various ways, one of which resulted in the image below.
While I have an actual penis, I bought this one many years ago with a basic use for it being the times when I wasn’t getting a real life penis to play with, at least one that wasn’t my own. One my main reasons for purchase though was, as is stil the case now, that I was comfortable at being a top but unsure as to whether I’d ever also enjoy being a bottom.
Being a lover of butt fun meant I could use this to simulate being bottom in my own time at my own pace and where I am most comfortable i.e at home in my own bed. With practice I could have a better idea whether or not I like the idea of being bottom and if it ever comes up I can decide if I’m comfortable trying it out or I may already know it’s not for me and politely refuse.
Before I begin I’ll start off with the short version of me and my gender, there is a lot more I can add but as it’s not what this post is about I’ll skip it for now. I was born male, own a penis so I gender myself as male and that’s what I’ll mostly be using here when talking about myself and my experiences with others.
As a penis and balls owner I’m often faced with a bulge in my underwear created by them and for the most part it’s just a normal part of life for me which during an average day I don’t tend to think about.
This changes when I purposefully wear tighter fitting boxers, tighter fitting ligerie or I get an erection whteher on purpose or not. When this occurs I find my bulge to be a pleasure not only to look at and admire but also to feel both without touching myself or when I do touch myself through my underwear/lingerie. The softness of fresh boxers on my hand and a hard penis bulging out can invoke the same kind of pleasure one may get from a fidget spinner/cube especially in the evening when I can sit in just my boxers and play about as I watch a YouTube video or browse the web.
Moving to the oppossite of myself and I do love a bulge on someone else, especially a partner I’m going to enage in pleasure/fun with. The fact I can see their bulge get bigger with excitment for what is ahead fill me with a smile as I’ve not even touched them for the bulge to increase, but when I get to feel said bulge my own pleasure increases feeling their penis through whatever underwear they are wearing.
I have to admit I’ve not always got excited over seing other bulges particularly in penis owners (Male or otherwsie) on the internet as much as I do IRL. It’s great someone can enjoy their own bulge and if it’s because they’re erect and it’s leading to fun then even better. For me though, the pleasure is in physcially having a reason for someones bulge and getting to touch and feel it. Also the other pleasure is in having an attraction to someone which inlcuded their penis and by extension their bulge.
The above is not to say I can’t find a bulge nice or that I haven’t enjoyed a bulge online, in fact I know of one trans porn star who’s bulge I do enjoy, but there not many times I will see someones bulge and really enjoy it.
I’ve yet to experience bulges and whatnot from non penis owners IRL but I can image they would just as pleasurable not only for me to view but also the other person to have whether it’s from a packer or something else.
No matter how you get your bulge the act of having one can be pleasurable whether or not the bulge leads to pleasure and whether or not you’re just viewing them or get to touch and feel.
I realise my blog has changed or the posts I make have. I’m constantly participating in memes, posting photos and apart from a single toy review and a new QuoteQuest post I’ve not been making genral blog posts filled with writing about a particular topic.
That’s not to say I haven’t drafted some posts, worked on previously written drafts or just thought about ideas for posts. I’ve done all of those and more, but for some reason while my desire to write has been there somewhat high the act of writing my ideas down into words hasn’t happened well.
Some posts I like being involved, semi-lengthy and covering all bases which is great, but others I want to condense down into some short and sharp with little filler and just getting to the point but for these posts I find myself writing a huge novel when I don’t want to.
I’ve even started a post I am hoping to make into erotica or just exploring a fantasy I have, but this has been for me difficult to get right for similar reasons as above. I want to start with an short introduction where I set the scene and explain things that lead to the main part of my story but I could never keep it short and simple. As I moved on I couldn’t get my ideas down into the right sentences, what were the right prhases to use when trying to be erotic and various other stuff.
I know I created my Monday Musings page as a way to write shorter posts without needing much planning, but a lot of very short form stuff I just end up tweeting or I post stuff into a meme instead.
So, going forward I will still be participating in memes but where I have the time I will maybe try to work on my posts ideas and writing in general. I know it’s not important or necessary to have lots of general blog posts published or in the works but I do want to make sure that when I do have an idea I can be confident in being able to write and publish it in a manner that I’m happy with. Of course I also want people reading to emjoy my posts but if I’m happy with a peice of writing then and only then will I hit publish.
“A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.”
Reading the quote
When I saw soul mate as part of the above quote, my immediate reaction was to think of someone I love and want to be with for the rest of my life. As I read on I began to change my way of thinking and the quote made me realise what a soul mate really is for me.
There’s a line from a song I love that fits what I want to say very well, so if you want the TLDR then this quote is it, otherwise read on.
“But there are some days no matter how much I’ve learned That the road gets tough And I don’t feel good enough But if you’re giving me some of that loving Could you pass some over Let me cry on your shoulder and tell me baby I could be good enough“ –Walter N Afanasieff/ Darren Stanley Hayes
A soul mate to me
I’m not a very social person, and there are many times where I hold back keeoing myself withing myself. Some of this may be down the fact I have something called Dyspraxia and some of it may just be down to things aside from that.
Of course a soul mate will be someone I fall in love with, someone I want to be with for the rest of my life and all that goes with that, but they are much more than that.
A sould mate is someone who gets to see the real you, the person inside that maybe doesn’t always shown themseleves 100% when around others in social situations or in private. They will understand and learn who you are, make you comfortable with them and over time allow to come out of your shell. You may start to be comfortable in expressing yourself with affection or even in itimiate sessions where it’s just the two of you.
They may also allow you to express yourself arround others. You may share a mutal love of something with your soul mate and can share that with friends, family or others you know without fear or anxiety.
There may be something you love to do that is naturally OK not to share with everyone, but they can understand and appreciate it while allowing you to intimiately share it with them in a comfortable and private enviroment.You also may be able to engage in said love around them while they do their own thing but still acknowledge what your doing and being happy.
A soul mate is not only someone you love but someone who encourages you to be yourself. They allow you to come out your shell when it’s the two of you or even when you’re in a group/social scenario.
They appreciate what makes you happy, understand the things you might not have shared with anyone and allows you to share that with them while making you more comfrtoable with who you really are.
In the end a soul mate is someone who wants you to be free and do what you want to do whilst being there every step of the way.
“Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends.”
Alphonse de Lamartine
If you didn’t already know, I love music big time and while I do love all kinds of music my main passion is genres like Heavy Metal, Rock, and all kinds of alternatives inbetween. A passing comment many years ago resulted in an electric guitar as a birthday gift, and to this day I have yet to learn how to play for various reasons, most of which I won’t go into on this post as it’s for a different topic alltogether.
While I haven’t learnt to play guitar, owning one for me is pretty cool just to do so and as you will see below it made a good prop for a set of images I took for this post especially when my original post idea didn’t work out.