We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.Tom Robbins
The quote and pre-love
Love is something that has been a part of me for as long as I can remember, and when I saw this quote for Quote Quest I knew I had to write something on it.
A quick note before I begin to say all these things happened before I discovered I was anything other than straight and before I’d even question my sexuality so it’s.
Before I knew what love really was I had what I might call a precursor to it, this was in the form of a huge crush on a girl in my class in school when I was maybe 9 or 10 years old. It was the first time I had liked anyone so I didn’t know how to explain the wonderful feelings I had, and ultimately I lacked self-confidence to act upon these feelings meaning nothing happened, and to this day I’ve never mentioned it to anyone (Apart from this post)
My first real love was when I was in high-school around the age 12 or 13 and I still remember exactly what I was doing when it hit me because I could never forget it.
I was walking home one Friday afternoon as my school had a half-day on a Friday, I was minding my own business as I walked when I happened to look up across the road to see a girl from my class which I though nothing off because at that point she was just a girl I knew but didn’t talk to or anything.
As I continued walking I had to then follower her route which reached some steps and within view was said girls house. As I started to walk down these steps, again lost in my own thoughts I suddenly got this huge sensation in my stomach (Butterflies) and the girl I had seen from my class unexpectedly came into my head. On the rest of my walk home I couldn’t stop thinking about her, the butterflies in my stomach increased and the smile on my face I imagine was huge.
I at first didn’t know what was happening, sure she was nice, maybe pretty if you’d have ask me but I had no prior feelings for her, we were in the same class and that was it until that point.
This love lasted a year or two but nothing ever came of it, or the two of us. She was always just a girl in my class and nothing more, but those feeling I had will never go out of my mind.
I wasn’t seeking love, I had no feelings for this girl before but somehow love came to and I just let it happen.
Second/final Love and first girlfriend
My 2nd love was back in 2004 when I spent time hanging out with friends from school and one of them from a year below I knew got a friend to hang out. We didn’t do much other than sit in the park laughing and joking with each other, running about the area most of the friends lived in, and sometimes playing pranks with the local pay phone.
As I started to get to know this new girl I began to see her as a friend and loved her being with us which quickly started to grow into a crush as we spent time together even in the group.
During this time I still identified as straight, and I was beginning to get more feelings for her which was a little nervy for me as I had never been so close to a girl who also seemed to like me in some way and certainly not one where friends saw something between us.
Eventually I would hint within the group that I liked someone (Not within the group) which led to me giving her a note which she thought was the name of a girl I liked and not her.
From here I got the courage to ask her out via text, and she said yes in the end which made me so happy I even had to text my sister about it, sister being 4 years older than me.
One of the best if vague memories I have of this period was a dream I had she was in. I don’t remember what happened in the dream but I remember during it and afterwards having this amazing feeling come over me that’s hard to describe, it was like butterflies in my stomach times 1 billion and honestly I felt anything as good prior to it, nor have I felt anything as good since.
Agin like my first love, I wasn’t particularly seeking love and this girl was just a friend of a friend who started hanging out with us and being a friend I unexpectedly fell in love with and dated for 7 months having some of the best times of my life.
The Quote and conclusion
As the quote says “We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”
In my 2nd love and subsequent relationship I wasn’t specifically looking for love, and so I stayed in the here and now which led me to create a friendship, then crush turned love which then became a relationship giving me the best times ever and the most amazing feeling I wish I could get again
The “perfect lover” may be out there for you but by taking time to look for them means you are missing the here and now, the people that may pass you by and the love you could be creating with someone who may be part of your life directly or through friends, work colleagues…etc