What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.”Agnes M. Pahro
What is Christmas?
Christmas for me has changed over the years for a variety of reasons, some natural life changes like moving house, new jobs and just getting older to things like losing a parent.
The quote above didn’t initially spark any imagination but as I began to look at other posts on the topic, I thought about each part and how they 3 of them applied to me at Christmas time.
“It is tenderness for the past“
I often look back to when I was a kid, the innocence of youth from that period and the happiness I felt at christmas.
Whether it was getting gifts I wanted, experiencing new things in life and having new feelings, there was something special about my younger years that I miss. Maybe it’s because I’m no longer a kid or in some case because the world is different from those years but I do yearn to have those time back even I won’t get them again.
“courage for the present“
As I’ve gotten older I’ve had more responsibilities that come with being an adult particularly for myself. Whether I was in a job, looking for a job or looking after my mum when my dad passed Christmas became a time when I needed courage in the present of whatever year it was.
In the last 3 years my particular job meant I worked over Christmas with the 25th being the only official day off, and while I didn’t work everyday I did work a lot, and not only was the need for courage there to get me through busy days (Restaurant I work in) but also that I’d be able to do it all again the next day. This also meant right through to New Years day and beyond until things got back to normal after the festive period where I could settle down and be less stressed.
“hope for the future.“
When losing my dad in 2010 I had to step up to look after my mum since I lived at home, and that Christmas was when I felt lost, things were different in the present and were going to be different for the future so while I didn’t think about “hope for the future” like the quote directly I did want the future to be better as I knew there would be many changes ahead.
Alongside the above there was some years that weren’t special, or where maybe good but not great and I often would sit at home during Christmas time when not with family, work..etc and think about the future, what the next year would bring for me.
I had a hope that not only would I be able to make it a more fun year with lots of new experiences, but that also some boring if necessary adult life stuff could be sorted out or at least looked into sorting out in order to make it less of a worry.
I think about the past, the tenderness for it as I miss the times when I was younger and Christmas meant something to me more than it does now.
I look for courage in the present to get me through Christmas particularly if I am working over the festive period or just have a lot of adult things to attend to that aren’t at home stuff.
Finally I dream of hope for the future. Hope that the new year brings more excitement for me, that any adult life stuff can be sorted so I don’t need to stress and for the new year to generally be a good as it can be.