[Quote Quest] The dreams that got away (For now).

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

Gloria Steinem

For the most part i’m not one who dreams about much related to real life, let alone any sort of planning and it’s evident over the last year or two by people from work telling me I should take holiday time. I didn’t take any holidays because I had zero plans or was just not confident enough to plan anything major for me to do solo, even if I had dreams, day-dreams or thoughts of things I wanted to do.

In 2020 though I was going to take more holiday time off from work and do stuff, or so I told myself prior to and at the beginning of the year.

As the year started I began with 2 smaller plans in the form of gigs, 1 for a band from Liverpool called Anathema in March and the other in April for Swedish death metal band In Flames. Beyond this I had no concrete plans but knew I wanted to do something fun, adventurous and go somewhere for the first time that wasn’t just a short train journey within Scotland like I had done before when I wasn’t so confident.
I also had plans of a new tattoo based off of my username and the reasoning behind it which I made a post about HERE.

Come march, I got to go to the first gig and see Anathema which was fantastic, and it was my first time seeing them having been made aware of them years prior by an Irish friend since one of their songs featured the singer from one of her and my own favourite bands.

Post gig I even managed to attend the pre-planned staff night out with everyone from work the first day back from my 2 weeks off, I work in restaurant so it’s not easy to get xmas time off for a night out.

Unfortunately though I had been back for less than a week or maybe just over a week when the UK lockdown happened due to COVID and most of my plans got put on hold.
The 2nd gig that I had been looking forward to ended up being cancelled and it became apparent that we’d be in this COVID pandemic for the long-haul so any plans I put on hold I basically shuttered till further notice.

As the months rolled on, I began to day-dream or just think about the things I wanted to do and how the conversations from work colleagues of “You need to take holidays” rang through my mind.
I wanted to go places, be adventurous and just take a proper solo holiday abroad having never been abroad or many places outside Scotland . My original plan was maybe Sweden as I like bands from there, and one city has a theme/amusement park so I could get my thrills of riding new roller coasters (Only done 4 so far) plus I could just do touristy things as well and relax.

As I dreamt of these plans that got away I was also reminded, that even though I wanted to do a lot of things the confidence to do some of these might not have been there and so I might not have go to do them.
Gigs and a new tattoo I’ve done before, but travelling was not something I was familiar with beyond a few days away in Scotland once, a stay over for gigs a few times or a day out in a new city.

Whether I had the confidence or not to do these things, the lockdown and COVID made it clear that in 2020 these plans had got away from me, and right now I daren’t dream about any major plans because I don’t know what the future holds especially for me personally.

That being said, I’d prefer keep my mind open for other dreams, those that are not really part of any planning consciously or sub-consciously and which can provide me with joy even if I forget about them as soon as I wake up.

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